BOWL OF SOUP STORY:

A friend of Bobby’s in Glasgow had a stall in a market place. He’s selling this stuff and guy comes by this one time. He’s selling incense. Guy wants to buy incense. He explains how to use incense. Guy leaves. Comes back. Asks what the incense is. Vender explains. Guy leaves, comes back. Asks what the incense is. Vender is fed up, yells “It’s a bowl of soup!” Guy yells back, “NO YOU’RE A FUCKING BOWL OF SOUP.”